The third part of my reflection journal was written during my 2008 visit to Sangha Shantivanam.
The Temple
I think about the temple, which was torn down two months earlier. The morning after my arrival, I stood on the barren site where the temple once stood. In that temple, I attended Mass with friends and meditated in solitude. Bede Griffiths celebrated the Eucharist (commonly known as Mass) in that temple. While sitting cross-legged on the floor, I enjoyed looking past the walls with open views of the banyan tree, meditating on the twists and turns of the trunk’s form as dawn evolved to daylight. Today, the tree still stands majestic, providing shade for the founders’ graves, but I wonder if the loss of the temple will deter future visits by those who had once been faithful to the ashram. Though there are plans to build another temple, the original had also served as a symbol and memory of Fr. Bede. Regular visitors to the ashram have expressed their dismay about losing the temple, an icon of Bede Griffiths’ memory, a tangible tribute to his spirituality, and a place where many have convened to meditate in his memory of contemplative inclusivity.
Fr. Paul, a monk at the ashram, reminded me during our daily walk after lunch along the Kavery, “Loss lies in the path of your spiritual journey. Seek the beyond, especially past the worldly things to which you cling to find Unity and Love.” His comment gave me pause as we continued to walk and talked about the meaning of loss and grief. Grief lies in the crux of my emotional being, having lost my husband decades earlier to sudden death from unexpected heart failure. I keep this to myself, instead, curious about grief in the loss of self-perception and identity.
During our talk, the monk and I also talked about the controversy around the tearing down the temple to build a new one. As one who cherished the original temple, I expressed my grief for the loss of the temple that represented Fr. Bede and his predecessors. The monk stopped and touched my arm to pause our walk. He then looked at me and said, “I think that even Bede Griffiths would say, “Do not cling to me and the temple; instead, look beyond me to find Reality and Divinity.”
Afterward, in my hut and after reflecting in my diary, I come to this conclusion. The experience of loss confirms my monk friend’s comment that “loss participates in our journey to find the Divine.” As a pilgrim, I find that I can emotionally and intellectually let go of the ideals of a world where I cling to my possessions, titles, and ego as the measure of my self-worth and identity. I do not struggle with this reality. Instead, this realization was a relief, in a way, removing the burdens of society’s expectations. I realize, though, that for some, coming to this realization may be a struggle. And within that struggle is fodder for suffering until one’s self-perception can begin to accept this realized Reality. From this acceptance, one can begin experiencing the openness of heart and mind.
Fr. Bede celebrating Mass in the original temple. (Photo Credit: Christianity and Esotericism)
コメント